I have long considered myself to be a thinker instead of a talker. Friends sometimes get frustrated with this characteristic as it makes for very difficult conversations when one person doesn't really talk at all. Maybe I am not so much a thinker but a reflector. I often take things I've heard or learned to heart and assume everything(sermons, studies, etc) that has been said was meant for me and my life (to change it).
In the past and much more recently, I have come to the realization though that it isn't about me. I find myself wanting to get those words tattooed on my wrist as a reminder (that is a heads up for those who might be freaked out by the idea of me getting tattoo...you HAVE been warned). Well, if it isn't about me or us, then who is it about?
This past year, my life has gone from being a materialistic, selfish individual to a person who cares nothing about "stuff" and who is striving to do more for others and "dying to self." Many things have steered me from that life of indulgence: Christ (number one), friends, and books such as "Not a Fan" and "Radical." Much of what I've learned is that I am a fan struggling to be a follower of Christ. If we are all honest, we would all admit that we are fans (fans are usually the first to try to claim the title of "follower"). My desire is to take up my cross and follow Him; to be fully committed no matter what anyone else thinks, says, or does. I don't want to just admire Jesus or have knowledge of Him; I want to be devoted to Him and to have an intimate relationship with Him so that when I meet Him he doesn't say, "I knew you not" but says, "well done, good and faithful servant."
Jason and I have recently traveled to Honduras. It is there that I feel purpose and useful. Useful in doing what I would call "nothing." Nothing in this sense means playing, talking, fellowshipping, and playing on the computer. How is that possible? Didn't God call me to DO SOMETHING more? My idea of nothing and His idea of nothing are very different. I used to think that I was suppose to use my gifts of teaching to teach my heart out to the best of my ability. I am but that is not all. It is now that I see God preparing me for something else. Although I am unsure of what that direction is, He has truly given me a desire to know what that is instead of just doing NOTHING but living my everyday life being comfortable and selfish.
Comfort is a very interesting thought. We as Christians are not called to be comfortable but we are called to take up our cross; to sacrifice. Taking up a cross that represents death and persecution and one that is despised means to die to self. My current deep thinking has brought me to the conclusion that fandom is rampant. We strive to go to work each day so we can pay bills for big houses that we don't need, clothes we barely wear, and food we allow to spoil and get thrown out. It makes me sick to my stomach to reflect back on the person I once was...and sometimes still allow myself to be. An overindulgent, selfish sinner only concerned with my desires and my needs and being recognized for the "good" things I did do. No wonder God says He would "vomit" me out of His mouth. I would too.
So, at the end of the day, I still find myself repulsive and self-seeking but in recognizing that about myself, I see my Savior who says, "Follow me" and I follow. I pray for a changed perspective, a changed heart, and a sacrificial life that seeks only after Him and not the world.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Hope for Honduras
Two people who were consumed with materials and stuff and doing their own thing (moving to the mountains and building a log home) have now become open-minded, open-hearted followers of God. That is a very difficult thing to describe, especially to others who are not followers. You can always tell a follower from a fan (read the book!!!). A fan questions why people are going on mission trips (esp during Christmas) but a follower is excited for you and wishes they could go with you. [There's one for the book Kyle Idleman].
All in all I've learned that there is no excuse for not serving the Lord. When He calls, GO! You won't regret it and He will always provide a way!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
My Babylon
My husband and I are doing a bible study on Daniel with our closest friends. First, I can't think of anyone else I would rather study God's word with than my helpmate and my best friends. It is teaching me tons of new things about God, about His word, and about myself. Babylon is definitely evident in my life. Simple things such as going to Wal-Mart can turn into our own personal Babylon...from wanting this and abstaining from that.
I have recently learned that it is sometimes easier to just quit something that is of "Babylon" than to partake of it in moderation. I have been Coke-free (Coca-Cola, that is) since my birthday. I have certainly had some serious cravings for it...try eating Mexican or going to the movies without it. However, I say "no" just out of spite because I know I don't have the strength to just drink one every now and then.
I have found that my life, in general, is an overindulgence of not only Coke but anything and everything. I live in my own Babylon where I do as I please and get, get, get whatever I want. And I thought Coke was a problem! We are a society consumed with get what we want when we want it and how we want it. We are completely consumed with fast food, fast access, instant messaging...no wonder we fail to wait on God to answer prayers. How did I get this way?
Earlier today, I went to hang out for a about an hour at a place where there was a kid who had a birthday party the week before. Both children in this family had announced that they didn't want birthday presents but for their friends and family to give money toward a charity they were raising money for. It was a very noble thing and I was so very proud of them both. I had missed the party because I was out of town but had intentions on giving to the charity. When it was time for me to go, one of the kids said, "Where's my birthday present?" With a puzzled look on my face I said, "I thought we were giving money for your chartiy?" He said, "no, I want a present!" I immediately thought of Babylon and wondered how we get into a mentality that we are intitled to "presents". I've spent much of the afternoon pondering how I would raise my children to think differently and to actually be truly giving. I spent much time wondering if I am actually truly giving and who is it for?
I tend to be an analyzer. Jason too. Sometimes this is an awful trait to own but when it comes to reflection on self, it is good. I find myself analyzing my fruit often and asking God for help with the not yet ripe fruit and sometimes spoiled fruit in my life basket. Much of what I've learned about God is that He is concerned with the fruit we DON'T have than the fruit that we do. I certainly don't want to be lacking in the fruit department when I meet Him. There is always something MORE I can be and it is sometimes frustrating, especially surrounded by Babylonians. Pride is sometimes my problem and needing a pat on the back. With God's help, I'm getting better at it. It is only by His strength that some things are done without my name being put on it. I don't want my name on it...I want HIS name on it. So, my prayer now is to turn from my Babylonian nature and turn my focus toward the true Jeruselum.
I have recently learned that it is sometimes easier to just quit something that is of "Babylon" than to partake of it in moderation. I have been Coke-free (Coca-Cola, that is) since my birthday. I have certainly had some serious cravings for it...try eating Mexican or going to the movies without it. However, I say "no" just out of spite because I know I don't have the strength to just drink one every now and then.
I have found that my life, in general, is an overindulgence of not only Coke but anything and everything. I live in my own Babylon where I do as I please and get, get, get whatever I want. And I thought Coke was a problem! We are a society consumed with get what we want when we want it and how we want it. We are completely consumed with fast food, fast access, instant messaging...no wonder we fail to wait on God to answer prayers. How did I get this way?
Earlier today, I went to hang out for a about an hour at a place where there was a kid who had a birthday party the week before. Both children in this family had announced that they didn't want birthday presents but for their friends and family to give money toward a charity they were raising money for. It was a very noble thing and I was so very proud of them both. I had missed the party because I was out of town but had intentions on giving to the charity. When it was time for me to go, one of the kids said, "Where's my birthday present?" With a puzzled look on my face I said, "I thought we were giving money for your chartiy?" He said, "no, I want a present!" I immediately thought of Babylon and wondered how we get into a mentality that we are intitled to "presents". I've spent much of the afternoon pondering how I would raise my children to think differently and to actually be truly giving. I spent much time wondering if I am actually truly giving and who is it for?
I tend to be an analyzer. Jason too. Sometimes this is an awful trait to own but when it comes to reflection on self, it is good. I find myself analyzing my fruit often and asking God for help with the not yet ripe fruit and sometimes spoiled fruit in my life basket. Much of what I've learned about God is that He is concerned with the fruit we DON'T have than the fruit that we do. I certainly don't want to be lacking in the fruit department when I meet Him. There is always something MORE I can be and it is sometimes frustrating, especially surrounded by Babylonians. Pride is sometimes my problem and needing a pat on the back. With God's help, I'm getting better at it. It is only by His strength that some things are done without my name being put on it. I don't want my name on it...I want HIS name on it. So, my prayer now is to turn from my Babylonian nature and turn my focus toward the true Jeruselum.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Oh No!
I cannot believe it has been July since I have blogged. That is what happens when school starts back. Too much grading papers and lesson plans. I will get back to it soon!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Who is your Moses?
In studying Joshua 1 today, I came to realize that Joshua must have been the stuff to be the next leader behind Moses. Joshua was Moses' apprentice whom he trained to become a leader after his death. In reading about how Joshua began his new journey alone without his trainer, I began to think about who my Moses was. Who was training me and who do I look up to as my spiritual model? We all have people in the world whom we model ourselves even when we don't realize it.
Immediately when I read this scripture, my Moses came to mind. In recent months, my Christian walk has grown tremendously. I no longer look at things through the same lens mainly due to the example that a dear friend has set before me. While we have spent time together becoming closer as friends, she has probably never known that I have "watched" her life and learned from it a great deal. I have seen how she makes her quiet time an important part of her day, how she invites waitresses to share prayer requests before the blessing at the meal and how she discusses her sin aloud immediately when it is committed. I've come to realize that much of what is taught about Christ is not seen in a church building but in the everyday lives of Christians who are actually walking the walk.
So, now that you have possibly thought of your Moses, who is your Joshua? You know that if you have a Moses, then you must have a Joshua also. People are always watching you to see how you will react to things because they want to mimic after you. Do those who are watching you see God reflected in every area of your life? My prayer is that God will lead you to a trustworthy Moses and make you a good Joshua so that you can train to become the leader God already knows you are.
Immediately when I read this scripture, my Moses came to mind. In recent months, my Christian walk has grown tremendously. I no longer look at things through the same lens mainly due to the example that a dear friend has set before me. While we have spent time together becoming closer as friends, she has probably never known that I have "watched" her life and learned from it a great deal. I have seen how she makes her quiet time an important part of her day, how she invites waitresses to share prayer requests before the blessing at the meal and how she discusses her sin aloud immediately when it is committed. I've come to realize that much of what is taught about Christ is not seen in a church building but in the everyday lives of Christians who are actually walking the walk.
So, now that you have possibly thought of your Moses, who is your Joshua? You know that if you have a Moses, then you must have a Joshua also. People are always watching you to see how you will react to things because they want to mimic after you. Do those who are watching you see God reflected in every area of your life? My prayer is that God will lead you to a trustworthy Moses and make you a good Joshua so that you can train to become the leader God already knows you are.
Sand Dollar Testimony (written 7/15/2011)
Praise God!!!
As I sit on the white sandy beach feeling the wind through my hair and the rays of sun on my skin when the clouds break from their dense communion, I ponder on the verse, “my soul is consumed with longing.”(Ps 119:20) I gaze out over the vast ocean and see an endless sky and long to be just that: “consumed with longing.”
Thinking on my Christian walk, I question if I have actually ever “longed” for God much less been consumed with that longing. I push my feet deeper into the sand to feel the coolness on my feet as I watch the waves crash faithfully on the shore. It is settings such as these that make me yearn for more of Him. I ask myself, “How can anyone not believe in a God who created this?”
Looking up I see a wave runner go by in the distance and fondly remember the great adventures and blessings of yesterday. I remember how God stayed the rains to unfold a beautifully fulfilled afternoon of ocean exploration. I have heard many ask, “How can a God of mercy and love condemn people to an eternity in Hell?” That question was clearly answered to me yesterday. Tammy, Teri, and I took wave runners out into the choppy seas and experienced things we had never experienced before. Tammy had never driven a wave runner, especially in the ocean. Some of the ride was spent airborne as we jumped high rolling waves one after the other. (Did I mention I was a passenger and holding on for dear life?) We followed our guide to an area frequented by dolphins. Amazing creatures! Teri jumped right in and swam with them. What a blessing! Our last destination was off the shore of Shell Island where we swam in search of sand dollars. Talk about amazing! To be surrounded by the most wonderful people AND to get to experience God’s awesome fifth day creations was a phenomenal encounter.
Can you really look at something such as a hermit crab or sand dollar and not see a creative God; A unique and truly amazing God? I examined the fine hair-like features on the sand dollar and the intricate pattern formed on its back. To consider that God took the time to mold this creature into its own distinctive existence confirms to me that I mean even more to Him. I am so much more important to Him that I am God-breathed and made in His image.
I gaze out at the crashing waves and I notice a seagull staring out into the immense nothing too and wonder if it sees God in all that is before it. Would a seagull recognize God better than all these people who surround me, including myself? Oh how we miss so much! We sit and proclaim how beautiful the water is and how lovely the sand feels beneath our feet yet we forget the God who created each grain of sand and who controls each crash of the ocean’s waves. We are simply content to sit and sun and read without even a mere acknowledgment of the God whose presence so obviously surrounds us.
So I don’t think the question, “How could a loving and merciful God condemn someone to an eternity in Hell” is correct. The question should be, “How could a God-breathed, intelligent and loved people not praise Him for the daily reminders of Him that surround them?”
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Acknowledge HIS Name
"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name." Psalm 91:14
Acknowledging His name is all it takes to be rescued from the fire pit, right?
Last night, Jason and I conversed about what it means to be saved and have salvation. Much of this conversation stemmed from a sermon previously taught by a close friend of ours, Jonathan Haefs (http://vimeo.com/26059560). The topic of interest was also ventured to because of a recent encounter in Jason's daytime activities. This turned our thoughts to what salvation looks like in someone. This began us thinking about our own lives and our witness to others, as well as an examination of our family and their relationship with our Lord; people in our family who are clearly lost.
The question that surfaced was "Where's your fruit?" We took a long hard look at our own lives to see if we were a daily example of Galatians 5:22 (But the fruit of the spirit is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control). It is a very humbling experience to examine yourself against the scripture to see if you measure up. That is something we should do daily and not just to be able to say, "well I've got this fruit or that fruit" but in reality to be able to gut-check ourselves and see the fruit that we DON'T exhibit.
People mistakenly believe that if they walked the aisle and filled out a card when they were young, that they are saved and will go to Heaven. It is awesome if you accept Christ but what do you do with Him once He is living in you? It doesn't just stop at the altar and the baptismal pool. It is a LIFELONG journey where you constantly must examine yourself against the ultimate standard: Jesus Christ. You, of course, will never measure up to Jesus but He is the standard to follow and strive toward.
Have you ever sat and thought about why you are here or the purpose of living? Maybe it is to go to school, get a good job, have a family, have a good life, and then die. Or maybe it is like many of the men of Genesis 5 where they lived, had children, and died. Sounds like a drag to me. Surely there is an ultimate purpose. Certainly there is more to life than just living and dying. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble" 1 Corinthians 10:31 The reason we breathe, move, and live is to bring glory to God Almighty! So, as Christians our daily goal should be to glorify God in everything that we do.
As believers we should not cause others to stumble either. That really hit home with me. You want to know if you are saved...examine your fruit and see if your actions could cause someone else to fall into sin. Can you cause someone to not yearn for God because they see you drinking an alcoholic beverage? Can your foul language cause someone else to begin to speak filthy or will your temper cause a negative attitude in others? Can your lack of attendance at church make someone else believe that they don't need God at all? Could your gossip bring shame to your God?
A friend recently said, "If my life is not useful or brings shame to God, I pray that He just go ahead and take me home." What a prayer! I asked myself if I have enough gumption to say that. I hope that my life is a reflection of the lyrics of Lifesong by Casting Crowns. "May the words I say and the things I do; Make my lifesong sing; Bring a smile to you." I pray that I am able to lose myself in bringing Him praise. To be consumed and reflect the image of Christ not only on the inside but in everything I do and say. To project His glory and His majesty should be our life goal!
So, want to know if you are saved? HOW'S YOUR FRUIT? If you really acknowledged His name then your fruit will reflect your salvation.
Acknowledging His name is all it takes to be rescued from the fire pit, right?
Last night, Jason and I conversed about what it means to be saved and have salvation. Much of this conversation stemmed from a sermon previously taught by a close friend of ours, Jonathan Haefs (http://vimeo.com/26059560). The topic of interest was also ventured to because of a recent encounter in Jason's daytime activities. This turned our thoughts to what salvation looks like in someone. This began us thinking about our own lives and our witness to others, as well as an examination of our family and their relationship with our Lord; people in our family who are clearly lost.
The question that surfaced was "Where's your fruit?" We took a long hard look at our own lives to see if we were a daily example of Galatians 5:22 (But the fruit of the spirit is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control). It is a very humbling experience to examine yourself against the scripture to see if you measure up. That is something we should do daily and not just to be able to say, "well I've got this fruit or that fruit" but in reality to be able to gut-check ourselves and see the fruit that we DON'T exhibit.
People mistakenly believe that if they walked the aisle and filled out a card when they were young, that they are saved and will go to Heaven. It is awesome if you accept Christ but what do you do with Him once He is living in you? It doesn't just stop at the altar and the baptismal pool. It is a LIFELONG journey where you constantly must examine yourself against the ultimate standard: Jesus Christ. You, of course, will never measure up to Jesus but He is the standard to follow and strive toward.
Have you ever sat and thought about why you are here or the purpose of living? Maybe it is to go to school, get a good job, have a family, have a good life, and then die. Or maybe it is like many of the men of Genesis 5 where they lived, had children, and died. Sounds like a drag to me. Surely there is an ultimate purpose. Certainly there is more to life than just living and dying. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble" 1 Corinthians 10:31 The reason we breathe, move, and live is to bring glory to God Almighty! So, as Christians our daily goal should be to glorify God in everything that we do.
As believers we should not cause others to stumble either. That really hit home with me. You want to know if you are saved...examine your fruit and see if your actions could cause someone else to fall into sin. Can you cause someone to not yearn for God because they see you drinking an alcoholic beverage? Can your foul language cause someone else to begin to speak filthy or will your temper cause a negative attitude in others? Can your lack of attendance at church make someone else believe that they don't need God at all? Could your gossip bring shame to your God?
A friend recently said, "If my life is not useful or brings shame to God, I pray that He just go ahead and take me home." What a prayer! I asked myself if I have enough gumption to say that. I hope that my life is a reflection of the lyrics of Lifesong by Casting Crowns. "May the words I say and the things I do; Make my lifesong sing; Bring a smile to you." I pray that I am able to lose myself in bringing Him praise. To be consumed and reflect the image of Christ not only on the inside but in everything I do and say. To project His glory and His majesty should be our life goal!
So, want to know if you are saved? HOW'S YOUR FRUIT? If you really acknowledged His name then your fruit will reflect your salvation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)