A Hodgepodge of Thoughts and Lessons...

The past three years have been a mixture of trials and lessons meshed together to bring about one purpose: to make me more like Christ. When you pray with the right heart and desire for God to work in your life, not to bring you more riches or more blessings, but to multiply His character in you and His influence in your life, He always answers. My prayers went from, "Lord, please give me the ability to move to the mountains. I will glorify You there. Please allow us to build the log home we've always wanted and have the good life" to "Lord, my desire is to get out of debt. Help us to sell that piece of mountain property so that we can have the means to be generous and serve You. I know we dug that hole ourselves and I'm so sorry for being selfish with what You have given us. Remove my desire for riches and replace it with things of You. Give me boldness and courage to be Your follower."
I am learning how to become a disciplined Christian, focusing on the things of God: meditation, prayer, study, simplicity, solitude, fasting, service, submission, worship, confession,etc. I've learned how to ask for God's glory to be revealed and to praise Him for who He is.

My desire for His Word has gone from a have-to to a want-to. In searching His Word I see my reflection and it doesn't look like what it should be so the Holy Spirit continues to reveal to me the areas where I need to remove sin. I feel disgusted with my sin nature...stupid flesh nature that always brings me down. In the revelation of my sin, God pricks my heart and says, "remove it and move on." He reveals things that need to be removed...things like television, movies, Facebook, negative thoughts, judgmental thoughts, selfishness in my marriage and He is replacing them with the craving for His Word and His thoughts, real study, the search for good supplementary resources, and submission in my marriage.

He has showed me that my time spent in Honduras was not worthless but misguided. I went with the mindset that I would "help" them when in reality the goal was to Americanize them. The purpose should have been to preach and teach the Word and only that. I heard a pastor once say that people don't need you to surrender your life for their cause, they need you to open your mouth and tell them about Christ. He says until we: open our Bible and study the Scriptures, memorize chapters, organize our thoughts into systematic theology, know what we believe, be able to defend that Truth, understand Christian history, and become a teacher of God's Word, we should stay home. Wow! Talk about a wake up call! Needless to say, that was helpful fuel for me to study the Word more and hide it in my heart.

I've learned what it means to be a true disciple. Pretty much all of what I've learned recently is what a disciple should look like and more importantly, what one should do. A disciple is not one who has "accepted" Christ into his/her heart and gotten fire insurance all the while living his/her life for himself doing whatever he/she wants. I should be a new creation and the Holy Spirit should be molding me into Christ's image. Whoa! First, to have God in me blows my mind. I have God living inside of me. Do I even understand the brevity of that? Furthermore, everything was created/is created for Him and by Him. God created me, yeah, I know that. But I was created FOR Him? That's too much. So what does that mean to me? If I am created for Him then I should live for Him. Hello! That's not rocket science so why has it taken me so long to realize that?

That epiphany brings me to becoming the weird person that I am. True, I was already a little strange before but now it is an intentional weird. A weird that makes you quit your job and stay home with your new baby girl when you have always been raised to work and work hard earning money in addition to earning all kinds of rewards in the job you were successful at doing. Success is redefined. It is the kind of weird that causes you to talk about God in every conversation that you have and have extensive conversations about theology with your husband. The kind of weird that causes you to sell a brand new truck and accept the gift of an SUV with over 200,000 miles, to not have cable or satellite, to sell all your DVDs that aren't Christ honoring, to give away things that you don't use and even some that you do. Need is also redefined. What a strange life it is to meet with women and talk about how God is working in our lives? To sit and listen to sermons online from great theologians. There is no greater joy than knowing that I am living the life God has called me to live. Nothing else matters.

So what else is there? Yeah, looking at these things makes you think that we have it altogether. Not so. God is still removing things, thoughts, and our control from our lives. How exciting!!! To be a follower of Christ means that nothing else matters. Not being so strict as to be legalistic but I am simply looking to Christ to supply my every need, looking to Christ to guide my life, and sharing Christ in every situation. There is no worldly possession, no success, no human reward great enough to make me turn back from this path I'm on. I imagine standing in His presence one day. Oh what a beautiful vision I have of that day yet knowing that any image that I conjure up doesn't compare to the magnitude of that day. Nonetheless, I imagine being in God's presence and being in such awe without being able to find the words to say. I hope that I would be able to muster up the words "Thank you. Thank you Lord for allowing me to serve You!"

If you don't know Christ. If you have ever walked an aisle and checked a box. If you have ever prayed a prayer and that is all. If you once believed. If you are not sure. If your life doesn't reflect what a disciple should be...search the Word, study, pray. If you are serious about following Christ, He will be reflected in your life. If He is not evident in your life, there has been no change, others would question whether you know Him or not, you dodge talking about God every chance you get, you are probably lost. Heaven is not the default. No one is good...good doesn't get you to heaven anyway; ONLY Christ does. Are you living for Him?

If you have questions, wish to know more, or simply want to be a follower of Christ, please contact me at wilks_leslie@yahoo.com so we can make arrangements to talk.

Be blessed! Follow Christ!

Go ye therefore...

I've been reading a lot of David Platt and listening to his sermons on sharing the gospel and how to sew threads of the gospel into the fabric of our everyday conversations. It is such a desire of mine to do this but it is also where I struggle. The more I read and understand God's Word, the more I am convicted that I NEED to be sharing what God is doing in my life and more importantly, sharing His gospel. God has convicted me so that everywhere I turn and everything I hear and read is consumed by this idea.

Platt says in Follow Me:

    "Imagine your church. Don't picture the building or parking lot, and don't envision the activities and programs. Just the people. Whether there are fifty, one hundred, or five thousand of them, simple imagine the people who comprise your church.

     People living in a world of sin and rebellion, suffering and pain. A world where over three billion men, women, and children survive on less than two dollars a day, and a billion of those people live in absolute poverty--in remote villages and city slums where hundreds of millions are starving and dying of preventable diseases. A world where billions of people engrossed in false religions, and around two billion of them have never even heard the gospel. They are all (literally billions of people) on a road that leads to an eternal hell--suffering that will never, ever, ever end.

 But you and the people in your church have been transformed by the gospel of Christ. In your minds, you know that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the grave to save people from their sins. In your hearts, you have tasted and seen that He alone can satisfy people's souls. Your wills are now abandoned to His ways, and you long to be His witnesses throughout the world. God has banded you together as brothers and sisters in a local church with a global commission: make disciples of all nations. God has filled every single one of you with the power of His own Spirit to enable each of you individually and all of you collectively to reach the world with the gospel.

So if you had nothing but people--no buildings, no programs, no staff, and no activities--and you were charged with spreading the gospel to the whole world, where would you begin? Would you start by pooling together your money so that you could spend millions of dollars on a building to meet in? Would you get the best speaker, the greatest musicians, and the most talented staff in order to organize presentations and programs that appeal to your families and your children? Would you devote your resources to what is most comfortable, most entertaining, and most pleasing to you?

I don't think your church would do these things--and neither would mine. Not if we really believed God's Word and were honestly looking at God's world.

If we recognized that there are billions of people without the gospel, many of whom have never even heard it, and if we realized that there are hundreds of millions of people starving without food and water, we would probably not say, "Let's spend millions of dollars building a house of worship."

...the Bible never tells us to construct a house of worship. Instead, the Bible says that we as God's people are the house of worship. The New Testament never tells us to uild a place for people to come to us; instead, the New Testament commands us to give our lives going to people.

Similarly, if we really believed the Bible, we probably wouldn't limit ministry to a team of minsters who lead the church. After all, every single person in the church is already equipped by the Spirit of God for the purpose of ministry. Why would we want tto sideline the Spirit of God in the many in order to delegate the work of God to a few?

Instead, we would all go.

Every single one of us. We would scatter as rapidly as possible to make hte gospel known to as many people as possible. 

It would be difficult, though, and probably costly. So even as we scattered, we would gather together periodically. The purpose of our gathering would not be to soak in a show or sit in a class. The purpose of our gathering would be to share our lives--to share the hurts and joys we are experiencing as we spend our lives spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. We would encourage one another, worship with one another, give to one another, and sacrifice for one another, and then we would scatter again to make the gospel of Jesus known to more people. We would do this week after week and year after year, and we would not stop until the Good News of Jesus spread from our houses to our communities to our cities to the nations."

 When Jesus rose from the grave, He told His disciples to go baptize in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit and teach everything He commanded them. They started as a group of about 120 but grew to over 400 in the first few DAYS. This did not happen through gifted speakers or big buildings. The gospel spread because ordinary people were empowered by an extraordinary presence and they proclaimed it everywhere they went.

I want to penetrate the world with the gospel through being a Spirit empowered disciple of Jesus who denies self and makes disciples of Jesus. The great commission is not a choice for me to consider but a command for me to obey. That's the kind of church I want to be a part of..."a people who really believe that we have the Spirit of God in each of us for the spread of the gospel through all of us; who gladly sacrifice the pleasures, pursuits, and possessions of this world because we are living for treasure in the world to come; who have forsaken every earthly ambition in favor of one eternal aspiration: to see disciples made and churches multiplied from our houses to our communities to our cities and to the nations."

Something that has blown my mind recently is the realization that my previous mission work could possibly have been in vain. Don't get me wrong, I believe we should help the sick, feed the hungry, and cloth the poor but in looking at my journey over the past few years, I have have had to ask myself several questions. In all the going and doing and helping, did I once share Christ with anyone? Sure I helped to feed many mouths for a while but did I share with them the One whom which they should rely on, the One who sent me? Without that and without discipling, it all just becomes just another thing we do. Is it really helping if I am throwing money, time, and food at something yet not taking the time to share God's love and salvation story with them? I am baffled by my lack of obedience.

No more! No more with I cower behind the security of handing out food when I need to be opening my mouth. No more will I try to Americanize a foreign village when I should be showing them how to rely on God to provide. No more will I walk down my street without being open to the Holy Spirit to guide me to share His gospel. No more!

I challenge you to join me! Go ye therefore and make disciples. While we are at work, we will make disciples. While we are on the baseball field, we will make disciples. While we are at the gym, we will make disciples. While we are going to school, we will make disciples. We will open our mouths and share the greatest life altering event ever. Share your story! Share Jesus!

If we aren't making disciples, then what in the world are we here for?

Settling on Jesus

I am learning more and more that God speaks through the silly everyday situations...I just have to look for Him and pay attention.

Recently, some friends of ours have gotten us very interested in the game called Settlers of Catan. Highly addictive, I might add. It is a game where you settle in areas to gain resources so that you gain points. The first to 10 points wins.

Lately, it has been more of a spiritual lesson than anything. One particular game, the four of us were playing as usual...I must add that a previous game proceeded by me taking a place where my husband wanted to settle, however we were both headed in to the same place. Whoever got there first and had the resources, settled there. I got there first. Needless to say, it wasn't good. He was quite angry.

In a more recent game, the tables were turned. Everyone placed their pieces. I chose to settle near 2 sheep colonies which would only require 2 roads to get to a sheep port. (A port allows you to trade resources for others). Having the sheep port would allow me a leg up and create endless possibilities for me since I would have tons of sheep. In the start of the game everyone gets to place two settlements anywhere so one of mine was the sheep area near the sheep port. My husband's turn came and where does he choose to settle? Yep, right ON the sheep port so I couldn't get it now. I was livid! We chose our other settlements and the game began. My attitude was already stinky.

I began plan "B" with my other settlement which was on the other side of the board. I began to make my way toward my 1st settlement building my roads to connect with the intention of getting a better resource on the road I was headed. My husband was traveling parallel to me. As his turn came, he turned to me and said, "I love you!" It took me a second to realize the sudden need to proclaim his love for me. I said, "If you cut me off, I'm going to be furious! You've already stolen my sheep port. You REALLY don't want to do that!" Sure enough, he turned in his resources for 2 roads and cut right in front of me. "Are you serious!" I screamed. "That was just wrong!" I have to admit that I held on to bitterness toward him for a while...the whole game to be exact. Later, he attempted to be nice and give me resources I needed but I intentionally refused from him and got them from someone else.

It was very comical to everyone else at first but then it changed the mood of the game and made it not fun...it was only after crushing me did he feel remorse (about 3 min later). I do have to add that I won the game anyway.

How often to we proclaim that very thing to God? "I love you God but I'd rather hang on to this sin instead of serve you." "I'd rather be doing my own thing that on the path you want me on." "I'd rather be comfortable in my bubble rather than obey you."

Our Christian walk must be an intentional one. We have to be intentional about giving grace...intentional about forgiveness...intentional about showing love and kindness...intentional about removing pride...intentional about not being critical toward everything...even in a silly game. It's in the silly everyday stuff that we gain experience for when we have to use it in the BIG things.

Although we proclaim with our mouths our goals ("I love you!") we then do the opposite (cut me off).
That is a great example of the walk of many Christians. We proclaim with our mouths that God is Lord of everything and we follow Him but truthfully money, power, success, work, and busyness are our Lord. Rick Burgess said it best, "We don't always live what we profess but we will undeniably live what we believe." Whoa! Taking a look at my life, what do I believe? What does my everyday life say I believe? What does my game of Settlers say I believe? SMACK!!!

God quickly taught me about forgiveness, grace, and pride. Turn the other cheek has a new meaning (Matthew 5:39) or at least a new application for me. He also taught us that "cutting off" others and trying to get ahead by any means necessary instead of following God's way of doing things will never allow you to win. Everyone who tries to step on others loses....in Settlers and in life.


We haven't stopped playing Settlers of Catan. We now play the "biblical" version where we give resources freely to those who need them and don't intentionally steal areas where others are going. Being a Christian is a 24/7 thing and must be lived out in everything we do. EVERYTHING!

Just when I thought...

...all was right with the world, BOOM something happens.

As I sat in my women's discipleship group last night, I pondered the problems of the world and discussed with my accountability partner the sin in our lives that keeps us from really knowing God and glorifying Him. We talked on and on yet our conversation always came back to the one thing: Our purpose in living is to glorify God. When I left her, I felt a sense of accomplishment and growth however in the big scheme of things was I really DIGGING as deeply as I could have been? That question hit me square in the face this morning.

I awoke this morning to tragic news and in trying to process it all I did not ask God "Why?" or try to reason the purpose behind such a loss. My reaction was, "Okay God, I hear you!" I fully believe that God speaks through every situation and in the end, everything that happens is to give Him glory. But as I sat there this morning pondering the meaning of it all, I thought, "What if that had been me?" I truly believe God gives us divine perspective to be able to analyze situations and allows them so that we change something about ourselves to reflect Him more.

The past two years of my life have been growing years (spiritually...not that it is separate at all). They have been glorious years of intentionally seeking God's face and what He wants for my life. In that seeking, I have learned that nothing I do should be about me and that in knowing that, my life should reflect it. I should not be stuck on those two years of seeking and then stop. I should move forward and continue after Him.

We walk out the door each day feeling assured that all is right with the world and we continue on this comfortable track of selfishness. In reality, we have no control over any of it. God controls it all and it can be taken away in an instant.

I questioned myself this morning. It is the same question that Francis Chan posed to our Sunday School class this past week. "What difference does your presence make?" Just as important, what difference would your absence make? I pondered those questions this morning as I learned of the loss of someone precious. Through my tears, I cry out to God asking for comfort for family and friends but also pleading for Him to give me wisdom and an intense, continuous longing for Him. My salvation should not be the end of my relationship with God...it is the beginning. We certainly should not strive for just "good enough" or just to check a box and say "Salvation, check. I've got that done now I have insurance." Being a Christian is a LIFE not a compartment of your life. God should bleed over into everything that is about you and me and there should be no question of who we belong to.

My challenge to you today and to do a gut check. If something were to happen to you today, would the pearly gates open wide and you do cartwheels on the way in because you have lived a life pleasing to God and not pleasing to self or would He stand at the gate and say, "I knew you not" because you have no relationship with Him and are ashamed to even speak about Him in certain circles? There is nothing more important than seeking Him and spending precious time reflecting Him than seeking anything else. What would your life look like if you sought after Him as much or more than you seek after worldly things? Are you ready? Would there be a huge hole in people's lives if something happened to you because you live a life full and only for Him?

If you claim to be saved and to know God, the question to ask is: Does He know you? Is He what you worship most?
Matthew 7:21-27
Matthew 3:7-10

Don't You Know That I'm A Christian!?!

I think a more appropriate question is: How do you know that I'm a Christian? OR What is it that is in my life that shows that I follow Christ? The answers to THESE questions can be pretty tough to swallow, especially for those who view themselves in a different light than the way others see them.

I have learned in recent years to examine myself by looking at the areas where I need God to help me grow instead of the areas at which I have already grown rapidly. Sometimes we tend to look at the "good" things about ourselves and forget about the "bad." I think that is understandable of anyone, even non-Christians...it is human nature, sin nature. However, if we are truly honest with ourselves and really want to follow Christ, we would do the hard thing and strive to remove those "bad" things daily (die to self: Luke 9:23). We really shouldn't have to convince people that we are Christians....our lives should prove that. Why else are we here except to glorify God with our lives?

God is doing amazing things in my life and the life of our family. I absolutely cannot wait to see what He will teach me next. I challenge you to ask Him to help you remove the wood, hay, and stubble from your life so that His light can be reflected through you. It may be a struggle and you may have to be "refined by fire" in order to get you there, but continue to look to Him and He will bring you through more faithful, with more wisdom, and a better reflection of Him and who He wants you to be. (1 Cor 3:12-13)

So, answer this: What is something in your life that is causing someone else to think that you aren't a Christian?

Who Are You?

Being that I am about 27 weeks pregnant now, I've been thinking a lot about how I want to raise my baby girl. It is a much different scenario trying to live your own life and work out the kinks of your Christianity but add someone else for whom you are responsible for pointing in the right direction and you have a challenge.

Lately, I've been trying to answer the question: Do I live as if God exists? That question got me thinking about how I am perceived and what my "model" looks like. You know the question that people sometimes ask: If you died this week, what would people say at your funeral? Those are the type of thoughts that have run through my head lately. I mainly think these things because I want my daily life to reflect the things that I learn in church and the things God is teaching me. However, the person I perceive myself to be on the inside isn't necessarily the person others perceive me to be outwardly. The "outward" part is where our faith is proven and where people believe what we believe.

So, in thinking about raising a little one in such a corrupt world I thought about what I want her to see in me: I (and her daddy) want my baby girl to see me as a spiritual leader; someone who points her to Christ daily and who lives out the commandments of God. I want to be the person for whom she knows is surrendered to Christ and the one whom she sees Jesus reflection. Most especially I want to be the one from whom she learns about Jesus (not the church's responsibility).

So, my challenge to you today is to answer the question: Who do I want my children to say I am? Once you've figured out the answer to that question, then live it out. Be THAT person!

I want to be WEIRD!!!

You certainly don't hear people say that they want to be weird these days. Most just want to fit in, not get noticed as different, or move through life without being pointed out as strange or weird.

My husband and I have made it our goal recently to be try to be weird. Now I'm not talking about the weird that you initially would think. From our perspective, normal doesn't seem to be cutting it. If you look around at people, many are just trying to get through life without getting hurt or scarred or even noticed. As a Christian, I think we should be trying to go through life not doing what everybody else is doing. We SHOULD be different; we SHOULD stand out.

Recently, we have been doing a study in Sunday School on the Holy Spirit. Francis Chan said, "[The Holy Spirit] has not really made much of a difference in our lives, to the degree that if we woke up tomorrow and discovered that it is not true the Holy Spirit lives inside of us, most likely our lives wouldn't look much different." I am tired of living in a way that looks exactly like people who don't have the Holy Spirit of God living in them.

When people outside the church see no difference in our lives, they begin to question our integrity, our sanity, or even worse, our God. Can you blame them at all?

George, a man we know, is a professing Christian and has been after his son, Junior, about going to church. Every chance George gets to punch in a word or two about Junior visiting church with him, Junior turns him down. I've witnessed this on several occasions.

Junior is a hardworking young man who strives daily to do his best but he does what the usual non-believer does: curses, tells dirty jokes, talks about people. He believes that because he is a good person and works hard, he will go to Heaven. George is a fairly new Christian but has never been discipled on what it means to live a life as a Christian. George also curses, tells dirty jokes, and talks about people. So, when George asks Junior to go to church with him, Junior always makes up an excuse but in reality all he thinks is, "Why should I go to church with you. You look just like me? All that church has done for you is give you rules and not changed your life in any way. All Christianity has done for you is made you go to church."

Many non-believers don't care to have anything to do with Christianity because of hypocrites who claim to be Christians yet live the same way everyone else does.

So, my challenge is to be geniune and the life God has called me to live in Christ. Be different....INTENTIONALLY DIFFERENT! Be weird because in the end, I don't want God to say, "Way to go! You made it through life looking like everyone else when I called you to look like Me."