A Hodgepodge of Thoughts and Lessons...

The past three years have been a mixture of trials and lessons meshed together to bring about one purpose: to make me more like Christ. When you pray with the right heart and desire for God to work in your life, not to bring you more riches or more blessings, but to multiply His character in you and His influence in your life, He always answers. My prayers went from, "Lord, please give me the ability to move to the mountains. I will glorify You there. Please allow us to build the log home we've always wanted and have the good life" to "Lord, my desire is to get out of debt. Help us to sell that piece of mountain property so that we can have the means to be generous and serve You. I know we dug that hole ourselves and I'm so sorry for being selfish with what You have given us. Remove my desire for riches and replace it with things of You. Give me boldness and courage to be Your follower."
I am learning how to become a disciplined Christian, focusing on the things of God: meditation, prayer, study, simplicity, solitude, fasting, service, submission, worship, confession,etc. I've learned how to ask for God's glory to be revealed and to praise Him for who He is.

My desire for His Word has gone from a have-to to a want-to. In searching His Word I see my reflection and it doesn't look like what it should be so the Holy Spirit continues to reveal to me the areas where I need to remove sin. I feel disgusted with my sin nature...stupid flesh nature that always brings me down. In the revelation of my sin, God pricks my heart and says, "remove it and move on." He reveals things that need to be removed...things like television, movies, Facebook, negative thoughts, judgmental thoughts, selfishness in my marriage and He is replacing them with the craving for His Word and His thoughts, real study, the search for good supplementary resources, and submission in my marriage.

He has showed me that my time spent in Honduras was not worthless but misguided. I went with the mindset that I would "help" them when in reality the goal was to Americanize them. The purpose should have been to preach and teach the Word and only that. I heard a pastor once say that people don't need you to surrender your life for their cause, they need you to open your mouth and tell them about Christ. He says until we: open our Bible and study the Scriptures, memorize chapters, organize our thoughts into systematic theology, know what we believe, be able to defend that Truth, understand Christian history, and become a teacher of God's Word, we should stay home. Wow! Talk about a wake up call! Needless to say, that was helpful fuel for me to study the Word more and hide it in my heart.

I've learned what it means to be a true disciple. Pretty much all of what I've learned recently is what a disciple should look like and more importantly, what one should do. A disciple is not one who has "accepted" Christ into his/her heart and gotten fire insurance all the while living his/her life for himself doing whatever he/she wants. I should be a new creation and the Holy Spirit should be molding me into Christ's image. Whoa! First, to have God in me blows my mind. I have God living inside of me. Do I even understand the brevity of that? Furthermore, everything was created/is created for Him and by Him. God created me, yeah, I know that. But I was created FOR Him? That's too much. So what does that mean to me? If I am created for Him then I should live for Him. Hello! That's not rocket science so why has it taken me so long to realize that?

That epiphany brings me to becoming the weird person that I am. True, I was already a little strange before but now it is an intentional weird. A weird that makes you quit your job and stay home with your new baby girl when you have always been raised to work and work hard earning money in addition to earning all kinds of rewards in the job you were successful at doing. Success is redefined. It is the kind of weird that causes you to talk about God in every conversation that you have and have extensive conversations about theology with your husband. The kind of weird that causes you to sell a brand new truck and accept the gift of an SUV with over 200,000 miles, to not have cable or satellite, to sell all your DVDs that aren't Christ honoring, to give away things that you don't use and even some that you do. Need is also redefined. What a strange life it is to meet with women and talk about how God is working in our lives? To sit and listen to sermons online from great theologians. There is no greater joy than knowing that I am living the life God has called me to live. Nothing else matters.

So what else is there? Yeah, looking at these things makes you think that we have it altogether. Not so. God is still removing things, thoughts, and our control from our lives. How exciting!!! To be a follower of Christ means that nothing else matters. Not being so strict as to be legalistic but I am simply looking to Christ to supply my every need, looking to Christ to guide my life, and sharing Christ in every situation. There is no worldly possession, no success, no human reward great enough to make me turn back from this path I'm on. I imagine standing in His presence one day. Oh what a beautiful vision I have of that day yet knowing that any image that I conjure up doesn't compare to the magnitude of that day. Nonetheless, I imagine being in God's presence and being in such awe without being able to find the words to say. I hope that I would be able to muster up the words "Thank you. Thank you Lord for allowing me to serve You!"

If you don't know Christ. If you have ever walked an aisle and checked a box. If you have ever prayed a prayer and that is all. If you once believed. If you are not sure. If your life doesn't reflect what a disciple should be...search the Word, study, pray. If you are serious about following Christ, He will be reflected in your life. If He is not evident in your life, there has been no change, others would question whether you know Him or not, you dodge talking about God every chance you get, you are probably lost. Heaven is not the default. No one is good...good doesn't get you to heaven anyway; ONLY Christ does. Are you living for Him?

If you have questions, wish to know more, or simply want to be a follower of Christ, please contact me at wilks_leslie@yahoo.com so we can make arrangements to talk.

Be blessed! Follow Christ!

Go ye therefore...

I've been reading a lot of David Platt and listening to his sermons on sharing the gospel and how to sew threads of the gospel into the fabric of our everyday conversations. It is such a desire of mine to do this but it is also where I struggle. The more I read and understand God's Word, the more I am convicted that I NEED to be sharing what God is doing in my life and more importantly, sharing His gospel. God has convicted me so that everywhere I turn and everything I hear and read is consumed by this idea.

Platt says in Follow Me:

    "Imagine your church. Don't picture the building or parking lot, and don't envision the activities and programs. Just the people. Whether there are fifty, one hundred, or five thousand of them, simple imagine the people who comprise your church.

     People living in a world of sin and rebellion, suffering and pain. A world where over three billion men, women, and children survive on less than two dollars a day, and a billion of those people live in absolute poverty--in remote villages and city slums where hundreds of millions are starving and dying of preventable diseases. A world where billions of people engrossed in false religions, and around two billion of them have never even heard the gospel. They are all (literally billions of people) on a road that leads to an eternal hell--suffering that will never, ever, ever end.

 But you and the people in your church have been transformed by the gospel of Christ. In your minds, you know that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the grave to save people from their sins. In your hearts, you have tasted and seen that He alone can satisfy people's souls. Your wills are now abandoned to His ways, and you long to be His witnesses throughout the world. God has banded you together as brothers and sisters in a local church with a global commission: make disciples of all nations. God has filled every single one of you with the power of His own Spirit to enable each of you individually and all of you collectively to reach the world with the gospel.

So if you had nothing but people--no buildings, no programs, no staff, and no activities--and you were charged with spreading the gospel to the whole world, where would you begin? Would you start by pooling together your money so that you could spend millions of dollars on a building to meet in? Would you get the best speaker, the greatest musicians, and the most talented staff in order to organize presentations and programs that appeal to your families and your children? Would you devote your resources to what is most comfortable, most entertaining, and most pleasing to you?

I don't think your church would do these things--and neither would mine. Not if we really believed God's Word and were honestly looking at God's world.

If we recognized that there are billions of people without the gospel, many of whom have never even heard it, and if we realized that there are hundreds of millions of people starving without food and water, we would probably not say, "Let's spend millions of dollars building a house of worship."

...the Bible never tells us to construct a house of worship. Instead, the Bible says that we as God's people are the house of worship. The New Testament never tells us to uild a place for people to come to us; instead, the New Testament commands us to give our lives going to people.

Similarly, if we really believed the Bible, we probably wouldn't limit ministry to a team of minsters who lead the church. After all, every single person in the church is already equipped by the Spirit of God for the purpose of ministry. Why would we want tto sideline the Spirit of God in the many in order to delegate the work of God to a few?

Instead, we would all go.

Every single one of us. We would scatter as rapidly as possible to make hte gospel known to as many people as possible. 

It would be difficult, though, and probably costly. So even as we scattered, we would gather together periodically. The purpose of our gathering would not be to soak in a show or sit in a class. The purpose of our gathering would be to share our lives--to share the hurts and joys we are experiencing as we spend our lives spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth. We would encourage one another, worship with one another, give to one another, and sacrifice for one another, and then we would scatter again to make the gospel of Jesus known to more people. We would do this week after week and year after year, and we would not stop until the Good News of Jesus spread from our houses to our communities to our cities to the nations."

 When Jesus rose from the grave, He told His disciples to go baptize in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit and teach everything He commanded them. They started as a group of about 120 but grew to over 400 in the first few DAYS. This did not happen through gifted speakers or big buildings. The gospel spread because ordinary people were empowered by an extraordinary presence and they proclaimed it everywhere they went.

I want to penetrate the world with the gospel through being a Spirit empowered disciple of Jesus who denies self and makes disciples of Jesus. The great commission is not a choice for me to consider but a command for me to obey. That's the kind of church I want to be a part of..."a people who really believe that we have the Spirit of God in each of us for the spread of the gospel through all of us; who gladly sacrifice the pleasures, pursuits, and possessions of this world because we are living for treasure in the world to come; who have forsaken every earthly ambition in favor of one eternal aspiration: to see disciples made and churches multiplied from our houses to our communities to our cities and to the nations."

Something that has blown my mind recently is the realization that my previous mission work could possibly have been in vain. Don't get me wrong, I believe we should help the sick, feed the hungry, and cloth the poor but in looking at my journey over the past few years, I have have had to ask myself several questions. In all the going and doing and helping, did I once share Christ with anyone? Sure I helped to feed many mouths for a while but did I share with them the One whom which they should rely on, the One who sent me? Without that and without discipling, it all just becomes just another thing we do. Is it really helping if I am throwing money, time, and food at something yet not taking the time to share God's love and salvation story with them? I am baffled by my lack of obedience.

No more! No more with I cower behind the security of handing out food when I need to be opening my mouth. No more will I try to Americanize a foreign village when I should be showing them how to rely on God to provide. No more will I walk down my street without being open to the Holy Spirit to guide me to share His gospel. No more!

I challenge you to join me! Go ye therefore and make disciples. While we are at work, we will make disciples. While we are on the baseball field, we will make disciples. While we are at the gym, we will make disciples. While we are going to school, we will make disciples. We will open our mouths and share the greatest life altering event ever. Share your story! Share Jesus!

If we aren't making disciples, then what in the world are we here for?

Settling on Jesus

I am learning more and more that God speaks through the silly everyday situations...I just have to look for Him and pay attention.

Recently, some friends of ours have gotten us very interested in the game called Settlers of Catan. Highly addictive, I might add. It is a game where you settle in areas to gain resources so that you gain points. The first to 10 points wins.

Lately, it has been more of a spiritual lesson than anything. One particular game, the four of us were playing as usual...I must add that a previous game proceeded by me taking a place where my husband wanted to settle, however we were both headed in to the same place. Whoever got there first and had the resources, settled there. I got there first. Needless to say, it wasn't good. He was quite angry.

In a more recent game, the tables were turned. Everyone placed their pieces. I chose to settle near 2 sheep colonies which would only require 2 roads to get to a sheep port. (A port allows you to trade resources for others). Having the sheep port would allow me a leg up and create endless possibilities for me since I would have tons of sheep. In the start of the game everyone gets to place two settlements anywhere so one of mine was the sheep area near the sheep port. My husband's turn came and where does he choose to settle? Yep, right ON the sheep port so I couldn't get it now. I was livid! We chose our other settlements and the game began. My attitude was already stinky.

I began plan "B" with my other settlement which was on the other side of the board. I began to make my way toward my 1st settlement building my roads to connect with the intention of getting a better resource on the road I was headed. My husband was traveling parallel to me. As his turn came, he turned to me and said, "I love you!" It took me a second to realize the sudden need to proclaim his love for me. I said, "If you cut me off, I'm going to be furious! You've already stolen my sheep port. You REALLY don't want to do that!" Sure enough, he turned in his resources for 2 roads and cut right in front of me. "Are you serious!" I screamed. "That was just wrong!" I have to admit that I held on to bitterness toward him for a while...the whole game to be exact. Later, he attempted to be nice and give me resources I needed but I intentionally refused from him and got them from someone else.

It was very comical to everyone else at first but then it changed the mood of the game and made it not fun...it was only after crushing me did he feel remorse (about 3 min later). I do have to add that I won the game anyway.

How often to we proclaim that very thing to God? "I love you God but I'd rather hang on to this sin instead of serve you." "I'd rather be doing my own thing that on the path you want me on." "I'd rather be comfortable in my bubble rather than obey you."

Our Christian walk must be an intentional one. We have to be intentional about giving grace...intentional about forgiveness...intentional about showing love and kindness...intentional about removing pride...intentional about not being critical toward everything...even in a silly game. It's in the silly everyday stuff that we gain experience for when we have to use it in the BIG things.

Although we proclaim with our mouths our goals ("I love you!") we then do the opposite (cut me off).
That is a great example of the walk of many Christians. We proclaim with our mouths that God is Lord of everything and we follow Him but truthfully money, power, success, work, and busyness are our Lord. Rick Burgess said it best, "We don't always live what we profess but we will undeniably live what we believe." Whoa! Taking a look at my life, what do I believe? What does my everyday life say I believe? What does my game of Settlers say I believe? SMACK!!!

God quickly taught me about forgiveness, grace, and pride. Turn the other cheek has a new meaning (Matthew 5:39) or at least a new application for me. He also taught us that "cutting off" others and trying to get ahead by any means necessary instead of following God's way of doing things will never allow you to win. Everyone who tries to step on others loses....in Settlers and in life.


We haven't stopped playing Settlers of Catan. We now play the "biblical" version where we give resources freely to those who need them and don't intentionally steal areas where others are going. Being a Christian is a 24/7 thing and must be lived out in everything we do. EVERYTHING!

Just when I thought...

...all was right with the world, BOOM something happens.

As I sat in my women's discipleship group last night, I pondered the problems of the world and discussed with my accountability partner the sin in our lives that keeps us from really knowing God and glorifying Him. We talked on and on yet our conversation always came back to the one thing: Our purpose in living is to glorify God. When I left her, I felt a sense of accomplishment and growth however in the big scheme of things was I really DIGGING as deeply as I could have been? That question hit me square in the face this morning.

I awoke this morning to tragic news and in trying to process it all I did not ask God "Why?" or try to reason the purpose behind such a loss. My reaction was, "Okay God, I hear you!" I fully believe that God speaks through every situation and in the end, everything that happens is to give Him glory. But as I sat there this morning pondering the meaning of it all, I thought, "What if that had been me?" I truly believe God gives us divine perspective to be able to analyze situations and allows them so that we change something about ourselves to reflect Him more.

The past two years of my life have been growing years (spiritually...not that it is separate at all). They have been glorious years of intentionally seeking God's face and what He wants for my life. In that seeking, I have learned that nothing I do should be about me and that in knowing that, my life should reflect it. I should not be stuck on those two years of seeking and then stop. I should move forward and continue after Him.

We walk out the door each day feeling assured that all is right with the world and we continue on this comfortable track of selfishness. In reality, we have no control over any of it. God controls it all and it can be taken away in an instant.

I questioned myself this morning. It is the same question that Francis Chan posed to our Sunday School class this past week. "What difference does your presence make?" Just as important, what difference would your absence make? I pondered those questions this morning as I learned of the loss of someone precious. Through my tears, I cry out to God asking for comfort for family and friends but also pleading for Him to give me wisdom and an intense, continuous longing for Him. My salvation should not be the end of my relationship with God...it is the beginning. We certainly should not strive for just "good enough" or just to check a box and say "Salvation, check. I've got that done now I have insurance." Being a Christian is a LIFE not a compartment of your life. God should bleed over into everything that is about you and me and there should be no question of who we belong to.

My challenge to you today and to do a gut check. If something were to happen to you today, would the pearly gates open wide and you do cartwheels on the way in because you have lived a life pleasing to God and not pleasing to self or would He stand at the gate and say, "I knew you not" because you have no relationship with Him and are ashamed to even speak about Him in certain circles? There is nothing more important than seeking Him and spending precious time reflecting Him than seeking anything else. What would your life look like if you sought after Him as much or more than you seek after worldly things? Are you ready? Would there be a huge hole in people's lives if something happened to you because you live a life full and only for Him?

If you claim to be saved and to know God, the question to ask is: Does He know you? Is He what you worship most?
Matthew 7:21-27
Matthew 3:7-10

Don't You Know That I'm A Christian!?!

I think a more appropriate question is: How do you know that I'm a Christian? OR What is it that is in my life that shows that I follow Christ? The answers to THESE questions can be pretty tough to swallow, especially for those who view themselves in a different light than the way others see them.

I have learned in recent years to examine myself by looking at the areas where I need God to help me grow instead of the areas at which I have already grown rapidly. Sometimes we tend to look at the "good" things about ourselves and forget about the "bad." I think that is understandable of anyone, even non-Christians...it is human nature, sin nature. However, if we are truly honest with ourselves and really want to follow Christ, we would do the hard thing and strive to remove those "bad" things daily (die to self: Luke 9:23). We really shouldn't have to convince people that we are Christians....our lives should prove that. Why else are we here except to glorify God with our lives?

God is doing amazing things in my life and the life of our family. I absolutely cannot wait to see what He will teach me next. I challenge you to ask Him to help you remove the wood, hay, and stubble from your life so that His light can be reflected through you. It may be a struggle and you may have to be "refined by fire" in order to get you there, but continue to look to Him and He will bring you through more faithful, with more wisdom, and a better reflection of Him and who He wants you to be. (1 Cor 3:12-13)

So, answer this: What is something in your life that is causing someone else to think that you aren't a Christian?

Who Are You?

Being that I am about 27 weeks pregnant now, I've been thinking a lot about how I want to raise my baby girl. It is a much different scenario trying to live your own life and work out the kinks of your Christianity but add someone else for whom you are responsible for pointing in the right direction and you have a challenge.

Lately, I've been trying to answer the question: Do I live as if God exists? That question got me thinking about how I am perceived and what my "model" looks like. You know the question that people sometimes ask: If you died this week, what would people say at your funeral? Those are the type of thoughts that have run through my head lately. I mainly think these things because I want my daily life to reflect the things that I learn in church and the things God is teaching me. However, the person I perceive myself to be on the inside isn't necessarily the person others perceive me to be outwardly. The "outward" part is where our faith is proven and where people believe what we believe.

So, in thinking about raising a little one in such a corrupt world I thought about what I want her to see in me: I (and her daddy) want my baby girl to see me as a spiritual leader; someone who points her to Christ daily and who lives out the commandments of God. I want to be the person for whom she knows is surrendered to Christ and the one whom she sees Jesus reflection. Most especially I want to be the one from whom she learns about Jesus (not the church's responsibility).

So, my challenge to you today is to answer the question: Who do I want my children to say I am? Once you've figured out the answer to that question, then live it out. Be THAT person!

I want to be WEIRD!!!

You certainly don't hear people say that they want to be weird these days. Most just want to fit in, not get noticed as different, or move through life without being pointed out as strange or weird.

My husband and I have made it our goal recently to be try to be weird. Now I'm not talking about the weird that you initially would think. From our perspective, normal doesn't seem to be cutting it. If you look around at people, many are just trying to get through life without getting hurt or scarred or even noticed. As a Christian, I think we should be trying to go through life not doing what everybody else is doing. We SHOULD be different; we SHOULD stand out.

Recently, we have been doing a study in Sunday School on the Holy Spirit. Francis Chan said, "[The Holy Spirit] has not really made much of a difference in our lives, to the degree that if we woke up tomorrow and discovered that it is not true the Holy Spirit lives inside of us, most likely our lives wouldn't look much different." I am tired of living in a way that looks exactly like people who don't have the Holy Spirit of God living in them.

When people outside the church see no difference in our lives, they begin to question our integrity, our sanity, or even worse, our God. Can you blame them at all?

George, a man we know, is a professing Christian and has been after his son, Junior, about going to church. Every chance George gets to punch in a word or two about Junior visiting church with him, Junior turns him down. I've witnessed this on several occasions.

Junior is a hardworking young man who strives daily to do his best but he does what the usual non-believer does: curses, tells dirty jokes, talks about people. He believes that because he is a good person and works hard, he will go to Heaven. George is a fairly new Christian but has never been discipled on what it means to live a life as a Christian. George also curses, tells dirty jokes, and talks about people. So, when George asks Junior to go to church with him, Junior always makes up an excuse but in reality all he thinks is, "Why should I go to church with you. You look just like me? All that church has done for you is give you rules and not changed your life in any way. All Christianity has done for you is made you go to church."

Many non-believers don't care to have anything to do with Christianity because of hypocrites who claim to be Christians yet live the same way everyone else does.

So, my challenge is to be geniune and the life God has called me to live in Christ. Be different....INTENTIONALLY DIFFERENT! Be weird because in the end, I don't want God to say, "Way to go! You made it through life looking like everyone else when I called you to look like Me."

Misplaced Passions

So, I've been learning a lot lately about time and using it wisely. The question to myself is: AM I using it wisely? And am I serving God more than serving myself?

I've heard many people say, "I just don't have time to do everything that I need to get done in a day." So, if you had just one more hour everyday, would you then do what NEEDED to be done or would you really just continue on the path you are on and fill that hour with one more fleeting thing. I often feel as if I am filling my day with mundane activities that, in the big scheme of things, don't really matter anyway. I am so focused on going here and doing this until at the end of the day it has been filled full of this and that and none of it furthered the kingdom of God.

It is amazing the things that we MAKE time for! We get up at 6:30 a.m. in the morning EVERYDAY to get ready and be at work by 8:00a.m. yet we can't get to Sunday School at all. Some will even wake up to be at the gym by 5:30a.m. three days a week but we can't get motivated enough to attend church by 10:30 or 11:00a.m one day a week. We fill our days with ample T.V. watching and computer playing yet we don't pick up our Bible to read the HOLY WORD OF GOD for more than 15 minutes or at all!!! (As if a mindless few hours of entertainment can compare!)

The issue that lies here is not with unbelievers either. I am referring to believers who have misplaced passions. We are passionate about football in the fall, about a particular movie coming out in the summer, or about getting fit and healthy but when do we get passionate about serving, worshiping, or learning about God? When do we stop making lame excuses for our actions and realize that we are making a huge choice? What we are basically choosing to say is that our time is too important to spend doing something for God's kingdom but instead it is better spent by furthering our own kingdom. OUCH! Reality bites!

What do you choose? Do you choose to continue doing what you've always done because that seems to be working out great so far (sense the sarcasm?) Or do you ask God to give you a passion for Him, a desire to read His Word and give more time to Him daily? Those who seek Him with all their hearts will surely find Him. It doesn't seem like a hard decision to make yet it is a hard one to commit to....if you are for real! God never said that when you became a Christian you would be able to do what you wanted...He said to glorify Him and die to yourself daily. I'm pretty sure living for myself isn't included in that!

So I challenge you to give up something that doesn't mean anything and replace it with something that glorifies God. It won't be easy but it will be well worth the sacrifice.

You can't be a blurry reflection

It is interesting to me that my last post was about "the world." I say it is interesting because our Youth summer camp this week has been about imitating God and defining "the world." As I studied to try to instill biblical principles into the hearts of middle school girls, I reflected on what it really means to imitate.

Imitate: to follow as an example; to model. It is sad really how we flipantly go about our Christian walk. We try our best to not stand out or to fit in as to not bring attention to ourselves. We learn early in life that it is a goal to look like everyone else, to act like everyone else, and to follow everyone else. Now that isn't exactly completely true. Parents teach their children to be their own person and make sound decisions but what do our lives really model? We don't see much of what we believe in our daily walk.

 We talk a lot about how we should act and that we shouldn't conform to the world but many don't really even know what the world looks like because we haven't taken the time to analyze it. For instance, we have become so desensitized to "the world" that we no longer cringe when it is around. If we are constantly around someone who has a foul mouth, we may not ever say those words ourselves but eventually we become numb to them and don't mind hearing them.

I wanted to watch a movie today at home while I was resting so I picked one out of the many in our collection. My choice was not made because I really wanted to watch it but it was made because it was one I had not seen in a while. I wanted a chick flick of course since I was viewing it alone so I picked up "Love Happens" with Jennifer Aniston. It is rated PG13 for some language and off color humor. I am never one to remember certain "bad" things about a movie so I started watching it. It didn't take five minutes into the movie before the Lord's name was taken in vain. At that point, the rubber met the road. Do I ignore it, desensitize myself, and continue watching proclaiming that I am not affected by it because it wasn't influencing me? OR Do I glorify God by turning it off and watching something else? Making that decision today didn't affect anyone else around me. It didn't affect my husband who was not here. It didn't affect my friends or other family members because they would never even be able to tell that I watched such a movie. So what did it matter? These are the very words that "the world" says to us...that Satan says to us.

It DOES matter and if I have to justify why it is "okay" then it obviously isn't glorifying God. We as Christians must always be on guard for ways that Satan will attack. How is me watching a movie that takes the Lord's name in vain any different from actually doing it myself? Neither glorify His name so what is the point? The point of being created was for His glory...that should be our goal in everything we do.

The world says that popularity is what we should strive for because it is there where we are accepted. Jesus never said He wanted us to be accepted by the world. God says to not conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed. How are you at transforming?

So, my goal is to not be desensitized to the world but recognize how it is affecting my life in my music (are the lyrics glorifying?), movies (are there things I shouldn't be seeing/hearing), and in the websites I visit (are the friends that I keep up with on Facebook pointing me to Christ?). I have to remember that I am a model and a reflection of Almighty God. If I proclaim to be a Christian then I should reflect Christ not something else. How am I any different if I am blending in with the world?

In case you were wondering, I shut the movie off immediately and removed it from our collection. It will not only NOT be viewed by us again but it will no longer be in our house. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. ~Joshua 24:15

"The World" Defined...

We are studying the book of James in Sunday School and the topic of discussion this morning was "Friends of the World vs. Friends of God." In our class, we try to dig deep and discuss the issues of the heart and today was no different. In pondering about the world vs. God subject, I asked the question, "What is the world?" It seems like an easy question to answer, even for me because we always say things like, "anything that is not of God" or "secular things that are not spiritual or Christian." But, a more important question I tried to answer for myself was, "What does the world look like in my life?" Do I look like the world? Tough stuff to answer if you are truly seeking to know who your true self in Christ is.

We often look at our lives and proclaim that we don't drink, do drugs, or gamble our money away but I know I often fail to look at my own life through the "what do I DO" lens rather than the "what I DON'T do" lens. For instance, in pondering these things, God immediately brought to my mind materialism, pride, and being judgmental. For the most part, these are things I wouldn't recognize in myself unless God brings them to my attention. Sometimes I think we focus so much on the outer things instead of focusing on our own hearts.

So, my epiphany this morning was to answer the question, "Do I look like the world?" It's one thing to say your aren't like the world but a completely other to be like it and NOT know it.  

God, You are Awesome, Mighty God and I do not deserve to breathe the breath to speak Your name. Thank you for the wisdom you give me and for growing me daily in my walk with You. There is nothing more precious. My prayer is that I am found faithful...that You give me the foresight to recognize "the world" in my life, confess it, and remove it forever. I want to glorify You!

Do you have mercy?

This past Thursday, I assigned a project to my Physics students where they are required to make an iMovie in order to explain a certain topic to their peers. So, as every students dreads, I assigned who would be in their groups.

Being that I am 4 months pregnant and it was the last class of the day, my temper was not nearly as long as I would have liked for it to have been. I tried to ignore the moaning and groaning about having to be split up from friends but enough was enough. I ended up saying in the tone inherited from my father, "Look! Your group members are NOT going to change so stop the whining about it and get over it! Let's all put on our big boy and big girl pants and do what we have to do!" I am not a force to be reckoned with so everybody straightened up and got into their groups...well, almost everybody. There is always one, right? One of my students, Julie (names have been changed) decided she was NOT going to work in her group and exclaimed that through the classroom. If you know me at all, you know I don't tolerate disrespect, ESPECIALLY after I have already corrected you once (yes, this is a trait from my father yet again...I learned it well after back talking and such most of my teenage years). So, I gave Julie a choice: she could close her mouth and work with her partners without punishment right now or she could get out of my classroom and see an administrator and explain why she is being uncooperative. She chose the latter and exited my classroom...only to return 5 minutes later stating that the administrator couldn't see her.

Julie finally informed me that there was a girl in her group, Abby, that she couldn't work with because they didn't get along. Abby wasn't even in school that day. I was livid! I said, "Are you telling me that you are making a big ordeal over someone who isn't even here today? You're kidding me! You need to get over there and work with your other partner and get started. We will discuss this later!" By the end of the class period, after fuming over the situation, I had decided that Julie was working with Abby no matter what. I wasn't going to tolerate disrespect and she needed to learn the lesson that sometimes we have to work with people we don't like. When the bell rang, Julie slipped out before I could inform her of my decision.

That night, I went to bed thinking, "Maybe that isn't the best way to handle that situation." The next morning, Friday, I sat down to do my quiet time and prayed that God would show me how handle it all. I asked for wisdom and for Him to show me what to do and what to say. I didn't even get finished with my prayer before He gave me the word "MERCY." I said, "Really, God? That was not at all what I was thinsking. I want to be stern and show her who's boss." Then He guided my eyes down to my wrist which read, "It's not about me." OKAY, I GET IT!!!

Seventh period came and it was slightly chaotic since I had students from other classes in there trying to finish quizzes and everyone getting the materials they needed for their projects. After settling everyone down, I asked Julie to come into the hall for a moment. Abby was present today, by the way. In the hall, I asked Julie what the issue was yesterday. She explained that she and Abby just don't get along. They have had issues for a while now and they just don't like one another. I told her that in my quiet time and prayer time that morning I prayed for her and for Abby and for resolve to the situation. I stopped for a moment and reminded her that I was a Christian and I asked if she was okay with me going on. She said she was a Christian too and that it was fine. So, I told her that God immediately gave me the word mercy in my prayer. I asked if she knew what mercy meant and she said she thought she did. I asked if she knew what grace is. She said, "Grace comes from God. God's Grace!"

What happened from then on was completely God! These were the words that came out, "God sometimes gives us things we don't deserve but sometimes He doesn't give us things that we DO deserve. For instance, you deserved to be written up for your outburst, disruption, and disrespect from yesterday but I'm not going to do that. That is mercy. I am also going to give you the choice to work with your partners or work alone on your project. You don't deserve to have the choice to get to work alone but I am giving it to you anyway. That is grace. What kind of Christian would I be if I don't actually show you who Christ is in my life? I want you to see that it is real but more importantly, if you are Christian, I want you to live it as well. That is what it means to be a Christian; you are a "little Christ." Now if God extends mercy and grace to you and I and I in turn extend it to you, what do you think you should do?" Julie said, "I should show it to someone else." I replied, "Don't you think it would be a really cool story and a really cool way to show that you are a Christian if you turned this awful situation into something awesome? What if you forget the years of dislike and arguing and you mended the fences with Abby? Would that not be a really cool God story?" She didn't say anything but nodded. Julie thought for a second and said, "I understand." I told her that I wanted her to take 5-10 minutes when she went back into the classroom to think about what she wanted to do: work with the group or work alone. I would not hold it against her, whatever her decision but she needed to come tell me what she decides.

She went back into the class and sat at the desk for a few minutes.  After about 5 minutes, she came up to me and said, "I am going to work with my group." I found it hard not to cry. She walked over to Abby and began talking to her and they decided that who was going to do what part in the project. They then started working. I later got the chance to talk with Abby and inform her that being in the group was Julie's choice and she looked very surprised. Before Julie left, I gave her a huge hug and told her I was VERY proud of her.

God is truly awesome and His ways and not our ways. I pray that He continues to mend the relationship between Julie and Abby and that Julie can live out what she believes. Thank you God for living in me. I don't deserve your mercy or your grace but I am SO thankful for it.

I am okay....is okay enough?

I find myself constantly analyzing my spiritual life to make sure I am in line with God. I never say to myself, "I am okay...I have arrived at my spiritual peak." There is always somewhere in my life where I can improve, grow, and mature...always some sin that can be nixed.

The moment we think we are okay, we have become fans of Christianity instead of true followers of Christ.

Here's a shocker! I recently got a tattoo. Yes, me who doesn't do pain....AT ALL! If you read my blog at all, you were warned. Although my tattoo is a disappointment and confusing to some in my life, the people who know me well and know me the best understand. I did not analyze or even think about the reaction of others before I got it. The purpose wasn't to get one to be getting one. My only thoughts and prayers were that I want to glorify God with my life and in doing that, I tattooed a reminder of that on my wrist. To me, it means I must die to myself daily and rid myself of the selfishness inside. Anyone who is a follower of Christ easily gets that. Fans, however, find it difficult to grasp.

I have a problem with selfishness so I am reminded that "it's not about me" but it is about glorifying God. Glorifying God in ALL things. So, why do I have to even be reminded of that? I know it isn't about me but knowing that truth and living it are two completely different things. It is very easy to say that life isn't about me but I find that my mouth sometimes overshoots my faith so I wanted to challenge myself to move forward in Christ and make a commitment to changing. I challenge you to do the same. Not by getting a tattoo but by making a commitment to die to self daily and glorify God in everything.

Not a Fan

I have long considered myself to be a thinker instead of a talker. Friends sometimes get frustrated with this characteristic as it makes for very difficult conversations when one person doesn't really talk at all. Maybe I am not so much a thinker but a reflector. I often take things I've heard or learned to heart and assume everything(sermons, studies, etc) that has been said was meant for me and my life (to change it).

In the past and much more recently, I have come to the realization though that it isn't about me. I find myself wanting to get those words tattooed on my wrist as a reminder (that is a heads up for those who might be freaked out by the idea of me getting tattoo...you HAVE been warned). Well, if it isn't about me or us, then who is it about?

This past year, my life has gone from being a materialistic, selfish individual to a person who cares nothing about "stuff" and who is striving to do more for others and "dying to self." Many things have steered me from that life of indulgence: Christ (number one), friends, and books such as "Not a Fan" and "Radical." Much of what I've learned is that I am a fan struggling to be a follower of Christ. If we are all honest, we would all admit that we are fans (fans are usually the first to try to claim the title of "follower"). My desire is to take up my cross and follow Him; to be fully committed no matter what anyone else thinks, says, or does. I don't want to just admire Jesus or have knowledge of Him; I want to be devoted to Him and to have an intimate relationship with Him so that when I meet Him he doesn't say, "I knew you not" but says, "well done, good and faithful servant."

Jason and I have recently traveled to Honduras. It is there that I feel purpose and useful. Useful in doing what I would call "nothing." Nothing in this sense means playing, talking, fellowshipping, and playing on the computer. How is that possible? Didn't God call me to DO SOMETHING more? My idea of nothing and His idea of nothing are very different. I used to think that I was suppose to use my gifts of teaching to teach my heart out to the best of my ability. I am but that is not all. It is now that I see God preparing me for something else. Although I am unsure of what that direction is, He has truly given me a desire to know what that is instead of just doing NOTHING but living my everyday life being comfortable and selfish.

Comfort is a very interesting thought. We as Christians are not called to be comfortable but we are called to take up our cross; to sacrifice. Taking up a cross that represents death and persecution and one that is despised means to die to self.  My current deep thinking has brought me to the conclusion that fandom is rampant. We strive to go to work each day so we can pay bills for big houses that we don't need, clothes we barely wear, and food we allow to spoil and get thrown out. It makes me sick to my stomach to reflect back on the person I once was...and sometimes still allow myself to be. An overindulgent, selfish sinner only concerned with my desires and my needs and being recognized for the "good" things I did do. No wonder God says He would "vomit" me out of His mouth. I would too.

So, at the end of the day, I still find myself repulsive and self-seeking but in recognizing that about myself, I see my Savior who says, "Follow me" and I follow. I pray for a changed perspective, a changed heart, and a sacrificial life that seeks only after Him and not the world.

Hope for Honduras

A few weeks ago, eleven members of my church, my husband and I included, went to Honduras for a mission trip. This is an experience that cannot be put into words. If you had asked me eight months ago if I was willing to go out of the country for a mission trip, I would have said, "Absolutely Not!" Upon reading several books (Radical and Not a Fan) I have come to realize that my life is not even about me. The whole purpose of the breath I breathe is to declare God's glory and share Him with others. If I'm not doing that then my life is useless. I didn't want to be useless so when the opportunity came up for us to go on a mission trip, we jumped at the chance. Talk about a changed perspective!

Two people who were consumed with materials and stuff and doing their own thing (moving to the mountains and building a log home) have now become open-minded, open-hearted followers of God. That is a very difficult thing to describe, especially to others who are not followers. You can always tell a follower from a  fan (read the book!!!). A fan questions why people are going on mission trips (esp during Christmas) but a follower is excited for you and wishes they could go with you. [There's one for the book Kyle Idleman].

So, in Honduras we did some painting and constructing on the buildings there at the mission and we got the opportunity to give out shoeboxes to some of the kids in the community. One team member, who is a dentist, filled and pulled teeth and his wife taught the people to make bows. We also put together the decorations for the pre-K graduation. The highlight for me was playing soccer with the kids in the yard and just hanging out with them. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't really communicate with them but I COULD kick a ball. Jason informed me later that my ball kicking skills needed work since I had bruises all over my foot. I probably should have been wearing tennis shoes too right?

All in all I've learned that there is no excuse for not serving the Lord. When He calls, GO! You won't regret it and He will always provide a way!

My Babylon

My husband and I are doing a bible study on Daniel with our closest friends. First, I can't think of anyone else I would rather study God's word with than my helpmate and my best friends. It is teaching me tons of new things about God, about His word, and about myself. Babylon is definitely evident in my life. Simple things such as going to Wal-Mart can turn into our own personal Babylon...from wanting this and abstaining from that.

I have recently learned that it is sometimes easier to just quit something that is of "Babylon" than to partake of it in moderation. I have been Coke-free (Coca-Cola, that is) since my birthday. I have certainly had some serious cravings for it...try eating Mexican or going to the movies without it. However, I say "no" just out of spite because I know I don't have the strength to just drink one every now and then.

I have found that my life, in general, is an overindulgence of not only Coke but anything and everything. I live in my own Babylon where I do as I please and get, get, get whatever I want. And I thought Coke was a problem! We are a society consumed with get what we want when we want it and how we want it. We are completely consumed with fast food, fast access, instant messaging...no wonder we fail to wait on God to answer prayers. How did I get this way?

Earlier today, I went to hang out for a about an hour at a place where there was a kid who had a birthday party the week before. Both children in this family had announced that they didn't want birthday presents but for their friends and family to give money toward a charity they were raising money for. It was a very noble thing and I was so very proud of them both. I had missed the party because I was out of town but had intentions on giving to the charity. When it was time for me to go, one of the kids said, "Where's my birthday present?" With a puzzled look on my face I said, "I thought we were giving money for your chartiy?" He said, "no, I want a present!" I immediately thought of Babylon and wondered how we get into a mentality that we are intitled to "presents". I've spent much of the afternoon pondering how I would raise my children to think differently and to actually be truly giving. I spent much time wondering if I am actually truly giving and who is it for?

I tend to be an analyzer. Jason too. Sometimes this is an awful trait to own but when it comes to reflection on self, it is good. I find myself analyzing my fruit often and asking God for help with the not yet ripe fruit and sometimes spoiled fruit in my life basket. Much of what I've learned about God is that He is concerned with the fruit we DON'T have than the fruit that we do. I certainly don't want to be lacking in the fruit department when I meet Him. There is always something MORE I can be and it is sometimes frustrating, especially surrounded by Babylonians. Pride is sometimes my problem and needing a pat on the back. With God's help, I'm getting better at it. It is only by His strength that some things are done without my name being put on it. I don't want my name on it...I want HIS name on it. So, my prayer now is to turn from my Babylonian nature and turn my focus toward the true Jeruselum.

Oh No!

I cannot believe it has been July since I have blogged. That is what happens when school starts back. Too much grading papers and lesson plans. I will get back to it soon!

Who is your Moses?

In studying Joshua 1 today, I came to realize that Joshua must have been the stuff to be the next leader behind Moses. Joshua was Moses' apprentice whom he trained to become a leader after his death. In reading about how Joshua began his new journey alone without his trainer, I began to think about who my Moses was. Who was training me and who do I look up to as my spiritual model? We all have people in the world whom we model ourselves even when we don't realize it.

Immediately when I read this scripture, my Moses came to mind. In recent months, my Christian walk has grown tremendously. I no longer look at things through the same lens mainly due to the example that a dear friend has set before me. While we have spent time together becoming closer as friends, she has probably never known that I have "watched" her life and learned from it a great deal. I have seen how she makes her quiet time an important part of her day, how she invites waitresses to share prayer requests before the blessing at the meal and how she discusses her sin aloud immediately when it is committed. I've come to realize that much of what is taught about Christ is not seen in a church building but in the everyday lives of Christians who are actually walking the walk.

So, now that you have possibly thought of your Moses, who is your Joshua? You know that if you have a Moses, then you must have a Joshua also. People are always watching you to see how you will react to things because they want to mimic after you. Do those who are watching you see God reflected in every area of your life? My prayer is that God will lead you to a trustworthy Moses and make you a good Joshua so that you can train to become the leader God already knows you are.

Sand Dollar Testimony (written 7/15/2011)

Praise God!!!

As I sit on the white sandy beach feeling the wind through my hair and the rays of sun on my skin when the clouds break from their dense communion, I ponder on the verse, “my soul is consumed with longing.”(Ps 119:20) I gaze out over the vast ocean and see an endless sky and long to be just that: “consumed with longing.”

       Thinking on my Christian walk, I question if I have actually ever “longed” for God much less been consumed with that longing. I push my feet deeper into the sand to feel the coolness on my feet as I watch the waves crash faithfully on the shore. It is settings such as these that make me yearn for more of Him. I ask myself, “How can anyone not believe in a God who created this?”

Looking up I see a wave runner go by in the distance and fondly remember the great adventures and blessings of yesterday.  I remember how God stayed the rains to unfold a beautifully fulfilled afternoon of ocean exploration. I have heard many ask, “How can a God of mercy and love condemn people to an eternity in Hell?” That question was clearly answered to me yesterday. Tammy, Teri, and I took wave runners out into the choppy seas and experienced things we had never experienced before. Tammy had never driven a wave runner, especially in the ocean. Some of the ride was spent airborne as we jumped high rolling waves one after the other. (Did I mention I was a passenger and holding on for dear life?) We followed our guide to an area frequented by dolphins. Amazing creatures! Teri jumped right in and swam with them. What a blessing!  Our last destination was off the shore of Shell Island where we swam in search of sand dollars. Talk about amazing! To be surrounded by the most wonderful people AND to get to experience God’s awesome fifth day creations was a phenomenal encounter.

       Can you really look at something such as a hermit crab or sand dollar and not see a creative God; A unique and truly amazing God? I examined the fine hair-like features on the sand dollar and the intricate pattern formed on its back. To consider that God took the time to mold this creature into its own distinctive existence confirms to me that I mean even more to Him. I am so much more important to Him that I am God-breathed and made in His image.

  I gaze out at the crashing waves and I notice a seagull staring out into the immense nothing too and wonder if it sees God in all that is before it. Would a seagull recognize God better than all these people who surround me, including myself? Oh how we miss so much!

       We sit and proclaim how beautiful the water is and how lovely the sand feels beneath our feet yet we forget the God who created each grain of sand and who controls each crash of the ocean’s waves. We are simply content to sit and sun and read without even a mere acknowledgment of the God whose presence so obviously surrounds us.

       So I don’t think the question, “How could a loving and merciful God condemn someone to an eternity in Hell” is correct. The question should be, “How could a God-breathed, intelligent and loved people not praise Him for the daily reminders of Him that surround them?”

Acknowledge HIS Name

"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name." Psalm 91:14


Acknowledging His name is all it takes to be rescued from the fire pit, right?

Last night, Jason and I conversed about what it means to be saved and have salvation. Much of this conversation stemmed from a sermon previously taught by a close friend of ours, Jonathan Haefs (http://vimeo.com/26059560). The topic of interest was also ventured to because of a recent encounter in Jason's daytime activities. This turned our thoughts to what salvation looks like in someone. This began us thinking about our own lives and our witness to others, as well as an examination of our family and their relationship with our Lord; people in our family who are clearly lost. 

The question that surfaced was "Where's your fruit?" We took a long hard look at our own lives to see if we were a daily example of Galatians 5:22 (But the fruit of the spirit is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control). It is a very humbling experience to examine yourself against the scripture to see if you measure up. That is something we should do daily and not just to be able to say, "well I've got this fruit or that fruit" but in reality to be able to gut-check ourselves and see the fruit that we DON'T exhibit. 

People mistakenly believe that if they walked the aisle and filled out a card when they were young, that they are saved and will go to Heaven. It is awesome if you accept Christ but what do you do with Him once He is living in you? It doesn't just stop at the altar and the baptismal pool. It is a LIFELONG journey where you constantly must examine yourself against the ultimate standard: Jesus Christ. You, of course, will never measure up to Jesus but He is the standard to follow and strive toward.
Have you ever sat and thought about why you are here or the purpose of living? Maybe it is to go to school, get a good job, have a family, have a good life, and then die. Or maybe it is like many of the men of Genesis 5 where they lived, had children, and died. Sounds like a drag to me. Surely there is an ultimate purpose. Certainly there is more to life than just living and dying. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble" 1 Corinthians 10:31  The reason we breathe, move, and live is to bring glory to God Almighty! So, as Christians our daily goal should be to glorify God in everything that we do. 

As believers we should not cause others to stumble either. That really hit home with me. You want to know if you are saved...examine your fruit and see if your actions could cause someone else to fall into sin. Can you cause someone to not yearn for God because they see you drinking an alcoholic beverage?  Can your foul language cause someone else to begin to speak filthy or will your temper cause a negative attitude in others?  Can your lack of attendance at church make someone else believe that they don't need God at all? Could your gossip bring shame to your God?
A friend recently said, "If my life is not useful or brings shame to God, I pray that He just go ahead and take me home." What a prayer! I asked myself if I have enough gumption to say that. I hope that my life is a reflection of the lyrics of Lifesong by Casting Crowns. "May the words I say and the things I do; Make my lifesong sing; Bring a smile to you." I pray that I am able to lose myself in bringing Him praise. To be consumed and reflect the image of Christ not only on the inside but in everything I do and say. To project His glory and His majesty should be our life goal!
So, want to know if you are saved? HOW'S YOUR FRUIT? If you really acknowledged His name then your fruit will reflect your salvation.

Unexpected Times and Places

Throughout my life, I've had many types of friends. Some whom I thought were friends turned out to be just acquaintances and some have stayed true for the long haul. I've had some friends that have parted ways and become distant and some that have stayed close for years and years no matter the miles between us. 

We don't often analyze the ones we call friends or show gratitude for them putting up with your quirkiness and sometimes strange ways. We just know that they are there and have comfort that they always will be. I thank God daily for the friends He has placed in my path. Many of these friends have come about at unexpected times and places and some have always been there but we just never kindled a relationship until now. Isn't God's timing perfectly awesome! People who are willing to tell you 

like it is and keep you on the straight and narrow are very hard to find and once you find them you never want to part from them. I have come to appreciate the plethora of people God has placed in my path and who have become my very best buddies. These people are the ones, like David and Jonathan, whose souls are knit with mine and I love them as myself (1 Sam 18:1) So to my friends I say thank you. Thank you for your love, your guidance, your knowledge and wisdom, your shoulder to lean on, your laughter and quality time spent, and your unending direction as you push me toward Christ daily. I am eternally grateful and I love you very much!